ive never understood why i do these things to myself. why do i ask when i know i'll hate the answer? when i know it will haunt me and cause way more harm than good. ive wanted to know...exactly what happened. and now that i do.... i would do anything to erase if from my knowledge.
i should leave it alone and drop it from my mind, knowing what i do of the source. i sit here trying to remind myself of her hatred for him and how she has caused many problems in my life already, why let her mark this on her list? i know it was told how it was, and to the person it was, for the belief that it would find its way to me... to my ears, or eyes in this case. and sure enough, it did. quite soon too.
i know it meant nothing. i know of his returned disgust for her, and of the intoxication that had been involved... however the images that reside in my mind at this moment are rather hard to stomach.
but...its my own fault. i wanted to know, and now i do. i am the cause of my insanity and i will deal with the consequenses of my curiousity.