it is officially 1:45 am and i am not even close to tired. well, my body is about to disconnect from my head because it has died from my wee little run, however... fear not! for i shall keep it attached at all costs. although letting it do as it will, could make for some interesting pictures... if i friggin had batteries!!!

hehehehe eart...... i love it.

i hate batteries! or maybe they just hate me.... i have 2 more days to take pictures....and then im stuck for awhile as the mother will be home...and my friggin batteries die! curses...will have to scrounge up some money to buy new ones...and quickly!!!

i have decided to drop the issue of my last journal. i believe him much more than i believe her and therefore...skrew what she says.
as for everything else.... some people really should be shot

i feel like there should be more to this journal; like it doesnt say much. especially after the day ive had, half awesome... half hell. maybe i dont care anymore. i dont care what they say. i dont care what they think, or do. i have a friend who says its rather easy to pretend you dont care, and that after awhile, you really dont care anymore.

ive never understood why i do these things to myself. why do i ask when i know i'll hate the answer? when i know it will haunt me and cause way more harm than good. ive wanted to know...exactly what happened. and now that i do.... i would do anything to erase if from my knowledge.
i should leave it alone and drop it from my mind, knowing what i do of the source. i sit here trying to remind myself of her hatred for him and how she has caused many problems in my life already, why let her mark this on her list? i know it was told how it was, and to the person it was, for the belief that it would find its way to me... to my ears, or eyes in this case. and sure enough, it did. quite soon too.
i know it meant nothing. i know of his returned disgust for her, and of the intoxication that had been involved... however the images that reside in my mind at this moment are rather hard to stomach.
but...its my own fault. i wanted to know, and now i do. i am the cause of my insanity and i will deal with the consequenses of my curiousity.

well....yeah